-- My Secret World Of Nonsense

2007-12-23T14:40:00.001-08:00

New Blog.

Been looking for a new Blog and recently found a new blog engine but still unsure if i'm going to shift over anyway i'm using Vox now. www.Vox.com and you can find my blog there "-xBenjamin ToxiFlyy’s blog " i'm still weighing out my thoughts. i love my blogskin so much but it just have to give me problems i'm going to miss this blog alot. Afterall it contains all my memories be it happy or sad.

2007-12-16T05:01:00.000-08:00

Omg omg is Ben is on the Straits Times!

2007-12-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

I GUESS I'll just Fly away~

friend (frěnd) Pronunciation Key

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement:

The word friend maybe be 6 letters but it has more meaning than what it seems.

These few days it has been bad for me, taking today for example, i woke up late and was late for school. nothing good seems to be happening to me, except for unhappiness and sorrow. It's so scary thinking back on how fast faces changed, we can be happily chatting together, playing around with the usual laughter in the air and in another few hours later, you will staring straight at a stern looking face. flames burning in his eyes, eyebrowns crinkled, bringing expression to a halt.

I'm totally regretful for what i've done afterall i meant not harm, little did i expect the consequences to be like that. everything boils down to an "IF". if i knew this and if i knew that, the world we live in wouldn't be like that. After this incident, it makes me feel how fragile friendship can be. it is like an egg you hold ever so tightly in your hands and you have to go through hurdles of obstacles which sole purpose was to make you release that grip and there goes friendship. it seriously makes me ponder what are friends in this circle and thats where i realized we are merely aquintances. I'm merely just another lamppost you meet as your travel along life's expressway. one after another different lamppost past you and you just become numb to it and in the end you don't even realise it's importance anymore.

I can only say it was foolish of me trying to rush into things. As i stated back then, i felt isolated from this group. it's like my existence was just there to make number and i can even be a nuisance to the group. i only had one single intention in mind and it's not negative i hope. i just wanted to feel bonded back with the group. i think in an effort to do that i brought unwanted attention to myself and even bring barrage of unfortunate events.

Today on my way to school even though i was late i still made the effort to go school, i missed my bus and as i waited i saw my grandmother walking closer to me she too wants to take a bus. something poped out in my mind. i felt buses were like time and as i sat at the bus stop, different buses brought different friends, excitment and fun. they stayed with you at the bus stop and later, off they go on to another bus and then another bus comes along and bring you something new and the cycle goes on.

what i want is innocence, be it physical, mental or spritual. all i want are simple pleasure in life but in real world, simple pleasure is simply difficult to come by, all we can do is to wait in anxiety and hope. They said good things comes to those who wait, but i've been waiting patiently all my life, when is that special BANG going to appear to me. i'm too exhausted to keep my spirit in longing. My studies is a flop, way below average grades are coming to me which i had before, i guess this is the retribution i deserve.

In life cross roads are a plenty, decisions are made and i've made mine and i've fallen into a bottomless pit, now in free fall nothing can save me and with watered eyes, tears are lifted off my cheeks with the gushing of the wind and there is no regrets. Afterall decisions are made by myself i have nobody to blame and in no position to regret.

There is so much i want to say, my brains are cranking and those images seems choked. my brains are unable to process. anyway it pains me to see myself in this scenario, i guess it's just a revelation of time and i've got to take it in stride. i've got nothing to say and i guess i'm just guilty and convicted.

Only Time will tell

2007-12-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

Reaching for the Impossible

Feelin Feelin...

Since last night i have no idea why i was in the mood to blog. it's been 1 month since i last blogged, on several occasions i had the feel to blog but sometimes, things just pops out one after another. I've shot several images with my cellphone with the notion to blog but i didn't, so there's quite an accumulation on my camera picture folder.

Talking about pictures, my laptop have been formatted and now my photoshop is gone, it's such a big blow to me, phototaking and editing days are over if i do not get it back in my computer soon.

For the past few weeks i haven't been home, been staying at different places, but mainly i stayed at my grandparent's place. It's kind of boring staying there, the only fun thing was the companionship from my cousins. they have no internet connection there and no games. luckily i bought my PSP and talking about my psp brings me to a boil. it has only been weeks since i bought it and it's analog is spoilt and it cost me 55$ just to change it. i'm like so freaking pissed off. it's like the psp itself is $288 and for a small plastic thing it cost $55, it's like daylight robbery but as much as i complain and rant, i still have to pay considering i need to use it for role playing games.

Lately, i feel that i've been drifting in and out of so called depression. everyday i've been hoping for a special something to happen but it just doesn't want to manifest itself, so as the days grows old and with the passing of time, my hope slowly dwindles and despair sets in, which results in the corruption of my mind. I can't helping feeling isolated from this world, people who seems close to me seems to be a million miles apart, i can bearly see them from the distance even with all the squinting and straining of my eyes. i feel lost, i've lost my sense of directions.

At times i looked back and regret, filled with remorse and guilt. however at this point of time, it's too late you can make up for the things u have done wrong but you cant make up for lost time. I ponder over these and happen to bump onto some thoughts which deems really true. In life decision have to made one way or another, be it good or bad it's the direction in life we want to take. sometimes you can't have the best of both world which this applies to me, as much i want to join my friends, being there when they need me or looking for them when i need them or just hanging out to have fun, it is at the expense of something, it can be monetary or even times for your other friends and family or even school.

Ever since i've been in the "circle"more or less, i've neglected many things, for example school, health, money and even my other friends. i even wished i was a clown, being good at juggling which i can juggle my time to lead a fulfilling life. There's so much i want to do and time just doesnt seem to be on my side, it's like my rival having a race with me and i'm already exhausted with the challenge i want things to stop. Listening to beyonce's irreplaceable, it seems like it is merely just a word, plain and simple which means nothing. Time only reveal things, some can be forseen however some comes in the later part which gives you a fatal deadly blow straight to the chest where it hurts and the pain radiates from the core of the wounded site. i've came to learn that nobody is irreplaceable. irreplaceable is something time can tell, at one point you may seem like you feel lost without the person feeling that and follows him around and one day he tells you that he dislike you following him around and wish that you would stop doing that,you feel the pinch and in the end as time goes by you feel that you do not need to depend on him as you have found someone else.. this clearly shows that irreplaceable is temporary it's just a human feeling kind of thing in the end the survival instinct just takes over.

i feel so caught up in emotions, it seems like this post is doused in bitterness and emptiness. so many feelings are bottling up in me, i need someone to confide in but i just cant see nobody to do that. Drowning in the vast ocean of misery, where life hangs on a thin thread stretched to it's max only to give way in the end and i'm the only one i can see in the picture, just me and myself.

i've watched Sweet sixteen with my cousin and i'm left with envy which is very sinful of me to harbour such thoughts. i just cant helping wondering why some people's life are just so perfect, they have to money, the looks, have that perfect gf/bf and wonderful family and thinking to myself why aren't i blessed with any of those. i guess i just have to wait for my happy ending life like an ugly duckling, only to be happy at the end. Feeling empty and lost and sense of voidness in me.. i guess i'm just a shell for my soul to accomplish it's mission on earth and to stay here for a few decades thats all. intially i feel that i'm not really a plastic kind of person, however there are different way of defining plastic, but its main point is putting a false front. i tried my best not to be a plastic person it's better to have more friends than enemies but due to dire circumstances, no matter how you try to salvage, the crack just seems to get thicker and longer only to give way in the end .some are plastic to people they don't like, whereas for some, they are not what they seem they are.

I guess i'm just so caught up with expressing all my negative energy.. this becomes a volley of bags of negative energy. i think i'll just stop here.

Pictures ---- ++

Topsy Turvy World.

Restrictions

Sengkang with Fiona

Looking back on each step. It's History

Glamour ball

Sandman of Sentosa Singapore

My favourite Drink

2007-10-14T18:10:00.000-07:00

Ressurection of my blog.

sweeping away cobwebs that has formed during my abscence of not bloggingin addition to that, tags are a plenty and i've yet to reply them. Nothing much to blog about anyway. i've been staying at home for the past 4 weeks already, rotting away at home, in an effort to save money because the new sony ericsson phone (w960i) is coming soon and that is my current motivation, my target and my determination. Talking about saving money, this month is a really difficult month to save as it's a month of many birthdays. starting of the month was (2)kenneth, (3)max, (13)garrick, (14)gary not to forget (23)mine too...^^ followed by my (25)aunty and last but not least (29)zhi liang, all in the month of october.

Over the days at home, Boredom has drove me nuts. i've been slacking my ass off at home and to my mother, its a good thing as it's been quite some times since i've stayed at home. in order to counter boredom, fiona has introduced to me a new game and i've been trying it out, this game called WOW, also known as world of warcraft, it is quite a fun game to play, if you are a computer graphics hardcore enthusiast, it's a must try! the graphics is fantastic to make things addictive, the skills and talents which i'm trying very hard to aquire. currently i'm on the trial version which i'm allowed to play for 10days and level to the maximum of 20. but the sad thing is today is the last day of my trial and i'm not able to play anymore. i have to pay already, and i'm so reluctant to buy it as i'm scared if i get too addicted to the game i'll neglect my friends or i might go out with my friends and i'll be wasting the money. i've trained a lvl 16 hunter (xhuntertroll) and a lvl 13warlock (xImmortalz) and the warlock is my current active.

staying at home everyday makes me miss my friends but i have not been feeling well and went to see a doctor on wednesday and i've been coughing and weezing for the past 3 weeks and it's been taunting me that i'm might be suffering from some incurable illness. i've got a big big packet of antibiotics, cough syrup and lozenges for sorethroat. during this time, i felt like i was neglecting my friends and i'm sorry.

this new school term has been going on very smoothly for me, however there is this 1 module that is like a parasite pulling down everything else. Things are piling up to my neck now and i can feel the suffocation already. tons of things left undone and time management. i admire those people who can really juggle their time well, having sufficent time for themselves and social life.

currently things to do:

-Study for my upcoming o levels *YES! o levels maths, just can't seem to pass that fucking thing.*

-Finish my schools' professional profiling

-save money for my cell phone (w960i)

i happen to find some quote on the internet:

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most ofeverything that comes their way.

how i wish i could be like that, being a happy person and not being a shell, the exterior which everybody thinks they know but not knowing the inside.

2007-08-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

Blogging Blogging Blogging...

i slept early the day before thinking that if i sleep early i could very well have the energy to wake up early the next day, but i deem that theory as inaccurate. Tabulating the historical occurrences of this phenomenon, I realize that I’ve always felt extra lethargic the next day, the more I sleep the more tired I get and at times I could even sleep at 4 or 5 and wake up early for school.

So much for such a grandma story I shall just cut to the chase, yesterday I couldn’t get up for school and my mother was bombarding me with questions, reason being I’m going overseas soon and I’ve got no idea when it is but she said I had to get it done asap and it is urgent because all the expense of the trip has been paid and she doesn’t want to forfeit it.

So I decided the sleep in till 12 and went down to lavender roughly around 2 and on my way there, on the bus 73 to amk mrt station I realized I left my passport at home and I fucking have to go back home in a 76 and luckily it is a 76, because 73 goes a freaking big round. I went back and took my passport and went back was on the phone through out the journey had much to talk about..

After ICS building, I made my way down to town to find Benji, only to find out he was in the movie and I was alone at cine walking up and down doing nothing and so asked alan to come down and accompany me since he was already meeting derrick in town. While waiting for Alan and derrick to come I sat at rocky masters outside cineleisure and when they arrived we went kobayashi to eat then went to smoke and then Ming yang finally arrived.

We slacked around and walk around cineleisure and went hereen and slack and actually that is all that we did. We walked from Cine – Hereen – Takashima – Cine – Hereen –Cine – Hereen. Woah. What a fun day… LOL walking up and down the same places again and again, but that just another typical day in town.

We were supposed to go the show at Prince Theatre for the free tickets Ming yang and I have gotten from the previous event at St. James. Reason being we don’t know where Prince Theatre is and when we found out where it is, it was too far. So in the end we forfeited the tickets and Just now I went to smoke with Benji, Fiona and friends I burnt the tickets.. LOL!

So tonight I’ll be going out with my classmates for some gathering then will be meeting Ming yang and the rest at PLAY~

Below is the Pictures taken outside Cine With Yangyang and michelle laopo.

MingYang with fake "BANGS"

Camwhoring at iShop at cine *playing with effects*

2007-07-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

starting a blog has become more like a responsibility, once you start most of them can't really stop. people comment on my blog entries being like a monthly column, where updates are only done once a month.

now i'm in school and the boredom is killing me. i very much want to blog on a daily basis but due to commitment to other things, blog seems to be one of the last piority. over the last few weeks, what should have happened, happened and what should not have happened also happened already, but oh well, i shan't give a damn of what is going on anymore.

i think i'm going to make the effort to blog on that very day of the event, it is such a chore to remember everything and the procrastination. in short over the last weeks, i've skipped many days of school because i'm already in holiday mood and i can't seem to wake up in the morning to go to school. i wished school started later i don't mind it ending later when the sun sets then it wont bloody fucking hot to walk to the freaking far mrt station.

all i remember that happened is i've went to Play one faithful saturday and it has been months and i really mean months since i last club and when i went there, we were expected to pay cover charge because they had a guest DJ, an aussie guy and had to pay 20$ which my friends and i didn't want to pay at all, and thus we decided to do something silly which might result in us being banned from play it was stupid but it was thrilling and fun and wouldn't mind doing it again until i become numb to the adrenaline.

First 200 door gift at St.james surf surf revolution goggles.. xP

in addition to clubs, i've been going to st. james powerhouse for the last 2 weeks, it was such a big difference in comparision to play and whynot. what's so good? it's cause of the lights, the ambience and the music. st. james fabulous sunday as said it happens on a sunday and school is next day which i can't afford to skip anymore i very much wanted to go school straight after st. james. but it is too physically and mentally exhausting to accomplish. On my way way home in the 147 bus ride, eye lids are heavy, everything seems to be in a swirl and off i go deep into lala land and missed my bus stop.

I remember it was ah geok's Birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH GEOK. he had his birthday celebrated at AJ infested spinelli and never in my life had i saw a triangular birthday cake, it was a normal cake covered in dark chocolate... YUMMY!! talking abour chocolate i seem to be in a chocolate CRAZY MOOD! i've been eating alot and alot of chocolate these few days, which is such a sin.

Ah geok's birthday cake..

i've been to the dentist and boy was it painful, i had to do root canal treatment, what is it? it is:

Example:

Process:

1. An opening is made into the crown of the tooth.

2. The pulp is removed from the pulp chamber and the root canals. The canals are then cleaned.

3. The canals are filled with an inert material and the access opening covered with a permanent filling. In many cases, a crown will need to be placed on the tooth.

it may sound simple but it is a tedious process taking 4 days and each day cost me $100. to the doctor it is tedious for the patient it is painful. i had several injections to relief the pain but it was still as painful so feel i could do better without the injections as the injection itself was painful enough. my mom gave me $100 to pay for the dentist but i took the money and went shopping instead. i went zara with garrick, benji and calli and spent $70. when i went home, mom asked me where is the money and why didn't i pay i said i lend the money to a friend. how am i going to cough out the cash to return her. DIE!!! ><" i bought a new so called slipper cum sandal from new urban male. haha.. borrowed $50 from fiona to get it.. all for sake of the surf surf revolution happening at st.james..
The slipper is white based i wanted to get a black base with orange straps but fiona claims it was ugly and i bought this and the white base is so easily dirtied.. SAD ><"

this is baby my very very cute doggie.. you see her cleopatra pose.. so sexy ahh.. :P

this Picture is taken at "THE CATHAY" i was in the toilet changing to my new clothes bought for clubbing at play, this white undies caught my eyes and i notice there were some "MELTED CHOCOLATE, WITH NUTS" ewww!!! the person just left his undies there means he must be walking ard BUTT BEAR and can feel the cloth of his pants.

This hairstyle is so totally cool with its vibrant colours i saw in a magazine at ming yang house he said it is going to take me 1 year to grow to that length if i wanna cut a hair style something like that.

A gift from Yeejian.. a necklance i've been eye-ing for sometime. :D

2007-07-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

Ben is finally free to blog, it is not like i'm really that busy with my life but more of lazy to blog and want to do something else that he deems is more important :P

there is like a roller coster of events that is happening in my mind right now there is much to blog but so little time and the feeling of laziness is one freaking big obstacle that i've to overcome.

i guess i shall start from the sentosa event i went together with kenneth to meet the rest of my other friends who have already gathered and enjoying themself under the hot sun. some were sun-tanning, others were floating in the water :P i wanted to enjoy myself there but due to the fact that we reach there late and they have to go off like pretty early i had no mood to like really engage in any of the activites happening there. i brought everything from my house, including towels and extra shirt and pants but!!! i forget to bring extra UNDIES! so what was the point of bringing the other stuff. i cant go walking ard town after that with soaking wet undies. lucky for my at sentosa beach near cafe delmar, the fucking place that i wanted to work at.. but that is not the point, there are many hotties there, i wore my contact lens and wear dark shades to cover my ever wandering eyes. :x the hot sun felt so good but i hate being super tanned such irony. i hate it cause i get tanned easily and in no time i would look like a charcoal. such a bummer. i saw this suuuuuuuuuuper hot hot hot one.. Awww!! my eyes almost popped out. my mind was like "I WAN I WAN" haha. such a despo.. ><" too bad not a singaporean. =(

Next___

i met up with huihui... i super miss her lo. it's been sometime since i last saw her, she hasn't been appearing around cineleisure much.. i was together with michelle (laopo) and garrick.. shuhui wanted to get some box to store 1314 heartshaped straws.. she is such a sweetheart, i admire her straight-forwardness, boldness and courage. regardless of the odds, she stands fast and brave them. we went from places to places, except for cineleisure and in the end we went to plaza singapura and there she found the suitable box and agenda of the day was acheived. yay! ^^

Next___

nowadays i'm feeling so lost and sad. i've so called lost my 2nd home. what was initially my plan to celebrate my birthday there, has now become bits and pieces of a broken dream. everyweek end i'm lost of plans, at least in the past thursday and friday i could go down to support mummy's performance at whynot, now everyday of the week seems so free, free until i have no idea what to do anymore.. friday and saturday could go down for clubbing and i can no longer hear whynot songs in club anymore. no more of line dancing already and no more socialising at whynot. all those have seems so distance to me already as it has already been 2 weeks. but i still can't get used to it. it has been very very long time since i last went down to maxwell, i miss that place, no more club hopping from play to whynot.. it is just play now and play is so crowded it is so totally no mood.

on the day whynot closed, it was a blast, not that i'm happy about it but the crowd there was awesome, it was something i haven't seen in a long long time. those regulars were there and almost everybody were there, it was super packed, there was the last performance at whynot and weijie dragged for the first time, and he looked good.. :) hot already lo.. then there was whynot bosses' last few words and it was clubbing till 3 am.

Next___

Jeannie and i met up with garrick for the NDP preview, garrick happen to have the NDP tickets we went there only for 1 thing, and it is not the show but for the fireworks. we sat throught the entire thing but only to find out there was no fireworks i was like wtfish~! we sat through all the thing but no fireworks, we were disappointed but nevertheless, we enjoyed each other's company and it doesn't matter if there is fireworks or not but if there was it would have been WONDERFUL! ^^

Next___

Next on the list is my aunty's baptism.. it was a sunday, it has been sometimes since i last saw my grandmother and my cousins.. i pushed aside all events lined up for me just for this day. i knew i had to have my piorities straight. family is definetely more important than the world. i went to church of singapore and my brother wanted to go to the toilet and me together with my 2 other cousins followed him and there we saw a minature toilet, omg it was so cute like something like alice in wonderland kind of feeling. it was the children toilet.. don't worry pictures will be included. the bad thing is the cubicles have no doors therefore those notti horny little boys get to see the little girls.. poor thing. :P

NExt___

so recently my clique has been very enthu about dota aka defeats of the ancients. it is like such an ancient game which is still living on till now, talking about long shelf life. so there was this day went to joe's house for a game of dota and there was this FHM magazine, the girls in that issue were quite loser, not even that hot and a turn on.. however there were advertised products which turned me on, which adds on to my list of wants is a CKJ watch with photo attached! :D

Last..__ ^^ *phew*

i accompanied kenneth to have his hair cut at gibbs salon near my house, the wait was super long and while waiting i browsed the magazines as i was thinking of having a savvy haircut soon, pleasant looking yet not common and happen to chance upon a few features i wish i could include in my customized hairstyle. i'm just afraid the pieces on it's on looks good but will not fit well together and the worst is it doesnt fit me at all. well below are the pictures.. ^^

i like the tail. i wan!

Above are just some of the events over the long period of absence from my blog, currently ben is undergoing a change, even he himself is unsure why he wants this change and even if this change is a good or bad thing. ben has always tried to keep things to himself, things he heard and see and things are bottling up, it is not like ben can't cope with stress but who loves stress? i believe everybody could live well without stress and stress could bring about alot of health relating problems.

ben is hardly ever like someone and when he does, he is always in for a roller coaster of final destination, the stupid thing ben does and even though of doing now looking back seems so foolish. ben has a new wish, he wans to be stronger he doesn't wants to be played he wants to live his own life without liking nobody. ben wans to keep low now.. he wans to stay at home after school, hang around with his other friends, taking a time off.

With time off from so much things, ben has more time for himself and he is very happy about it..

- ben can sleep early before 12.

- ben can do his school stuff like his professional profiling and final year project.

- ben can save money and money is very important to ben.

- ben can go to the gym. *ben loves it*

- ben can spend more time with my other friends before i join the circle.

- ben can please his parents and make them happy.

- ben hear less politics and hope and prays that politics will not come and find me. i just want to be a normal person..

Ben now is tired already.. as said by mummy

- !*joJO*! - : ~ ♥ ~ ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ whAt i alSo WaNt ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ ~ ♡ ~ says (4:01 PM):
jus that the process of liking is like hell...
- !*joJO*! - : ~ ♥ ~ ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ whAt i alSo WaNt ~ ♬ ♪♩♫ ~ ~ ♡ ~ says (4:02 PM):
u donno wat the other party really thinking

which ben totally agree. ben feels he had tried to give my best and in the end he feels he isn't getting what he wants. ben believes in pointbreak when anything reaches over it's limit it will snap. ben misses him alot, places him in first piority, making every effort to see him, but ben feels that he doesn't even give a hoot. ben doesn't know what he is thinking if he really wants ben or... ben always feel like smsing him, checking how he is doing have he eaten and if he was ok, but in the end ben feels it is better to give him some space incase he feels that i'm an irritant. ben wants to hugg him as and when he likes but he can't because he doesn't even know his place in his heart and the thing is the public doesn't know about it. ben is tired of such a relationship.

is it so hard to find someone you love and love you as much as you do. if he could love me as much as i love him, i'll be really happy. ^^

Below is something kenneth ask me to put in my blog. dunno wad is it some flash thing well you can give it a try..

Put The Big Red Button on your site

Pictures.___
little baby..
small snail so tiny..
Snail can eat snail.. O_O"

Science class. Anatomy of female body.

STRIVE FORWARD SAYS FIONA!
Smile like a Diva. ^^
Eggs on the grass..

Fyp Project... yay!
ME. ^^
Me in Class. =X

2007-06-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

Happening Happenings..

From the last post on 3rd of june, i realised it has been like 19 days since i last blogged. it is not me being lazy or what, or perhaps partially it is. i have so many things i want to do and need to do, time seems to be an obstacle for me, i need an organizer to plan my time wisely. There are so many upcoming events that is kept at the back of my mind and it is going to be a headsore. In a few days time it is going to be yangyang's birthday and Orange's birthday. yesterday was Mummy's (JoJo) birthday together with my aunty's birthday. birthday reminds me that on 10th of june it was michelle loo (2nd laopo) birthday, we went kboxing together with many other people which i can't really remember who. me and garrick went to buy cake and the cake was so freaking yummy. had biscuit or waffle inside la super nice. rich chocolate cream so heavenly.

My parents bought durian and it stank the whole house, i tried to eat 1 but it was just too disgusting. the whole night i had this durian smell coming out of my mouth and it made me want to puke. yesterday due to the fact it was my aunty's birthday i had to be home early and it was for once after a very long time i actually went home straight from school. it has always been town or some other places instead of home, i don't understand myself, why do i not want to stay at home.

Re-cap over the weeks___

Met many old friends i missed so dearly..

the day before yesterday me and benji met up with Daryl Ang, Omg, he has changed so much no longer the daryl i once knew, i cannot imagine that change on me if i enter NS. daryl has grown taller and fitter, more man then last time and he is attached. so much things to catch up over the dinner table at swensen which he treat us.

I also met up with mango, so long never see her le, also chatted abour relationship problems and her breaking up with this guy, everybody claims was a good catch. Heard he is from my school, i'm so curious who is this guy who can make our princess mango fall in love with him.. such charisma to attract the high flying angel down from the sky. we had dinner at some weird weird thai resturant on top of far east.

Unglam mango ^^

Talking about mango reminds me that i almost saw Ting.. meeting her was unexpected and not planned, met her outside some lan shop near paradiz center. Now ting is a big girl already, learn how to put make up and she seems more mature now. so glad to see her i even lost her contact number so i finally gotten it back.

Just thinking of all my old friends bring back simple yet joyful memories. all the good times we used to share, the good and the bad. i long to reminisce, savour the past again.

School has been really boring tooo, for bioinstrumentation we studied the EMG, our EMG cannot work or so it seems, couldn't get any reading from the freaking damn machine. talking about machine reminds me of transformers. i cannot wait for it to start showing, promised to watch it with someone. Can't Wait. ><" i cant help but thinking my school grades are dropping and how and what am i supposed to do to salvage the situation. in school it is the art of drama of how well you can act and demostrate your understanding which determines your grading. therefore i can only say, i desperately need to sharpen my acting skills.

over the past few days there are so much things to catch up on. which i instantly though off my night safari job. jeannie and i went for a job interview the 2nd time and we were asked to go for 2 times on job training again but this time it was for ground crew, meaning we are not doing retail, we stand within the grounds and guide the tourist to the destination which they want to go. one the first day of training i did the tearing of tickets from the trams, it was so damn tiring, imagine have to repeat the same things over and over again like Hi good evening, may i have your tickets please~ *then tear the ticket and returns with both hands* thank you and enjoy your ride. imagine a big bunch of people from the tour group repeating that same sentence over and over again it is like a tongue twister already.

then on the 2nd day, i swopped position with jeannie and did main entrance. it was the same thing but worst we had to approach people and say Hi Good evening, welcome to night safari *tears tickets* Thank you and please enjoy your stay. working is never easy. whatever it is i don't give a damn anymore.

after the job training garrick, jeannie and myself we went to bongo burger for dinner cum supper, so ask that stupid garrick end so late at 10.30 then have to punch card and stuff dilly dally. we all had fish and chip so freaking expensive the same kind of fish and chips i can have it for like 4.80 but what was special was the fries it was GOOD! thats all i guess.

Pictures....

Happy ShuHui.. ^^

Disguesting ants eating Cockroach

Weiwei unglam at Serangoon mac's *SUPPER*

2007-06-03T02:15:00.000-07:00

MY DOG

Tsk! Happiness is short lived.

My night safari on job training was a flop, other people only have to go for 1 day but me and jeannie have to go for 2 days, WHY?!!! My supervisor said that i was not doing my job of approaching customers and promoting the items but the items there are so common sense, a hand-held fan is a hand-held fan, push the button and it will turn on, what is there to explain or promote i believe if you like something you will already have to notion of buying there is no need to promote of what so ever. i'm so pissed and also sad. my dream of luxurious spending seems to be fading away, talking about the things i wanted to buy, all can be put on hold already.

before the on job training, me jeannie and garrick had a free tour around night safari on our orientation day, it was quite fun but what made it miserable was the hot and humid weather and the spider webs everywhere, when we were walking through the trails, all the webs keep getting caught by our hands and legs so itchy, talking about itchy, there is needless to say about the abundance of mosquitoes there.

we had a free tram ride and also got to watch the night safari show, the tram ride was really fun, no need to walk, just sit there relax enjoy the scenery and listen to the tour guide talking about the animals around us and that stupid garrick keep making weird noises and the tourist keep looking at us it was so embarassing. lol but it was super funny la.

we took many many pictures, which ever animal we came across, we took a picture of it. what is the purpose? for my blog haha. but my phone no batt to last through the whole journey so took only a few and some cam-whoring pictures. there are so some weird weird tribal statues that looks damn weird only if you look at it through tinted eyes haha.

the trio, jeannie, garrick and me is going to try our best to make our mark in night safari, plan to do better for the 2nd on job training, then earn $$ and go out shopping together. which what we 3 love to do, that is if me and jeannie pass the OJT.

the school holidays are here, i kind of enjoying myself but like not high enough, kind of feel that my holidays are a wasted, not clubbing enough. i guess i have to go to more different clubs too. i went clubbing on wednesday, friday and saturday and i actually planned to go today too, but yangyang cannot go.. so sad! so nobody accompany me so i guess i'll just have to stay at home so super boring.

On friday i guess i drank too much, i drank quite alot my intention was only to get high but not drunk, but drink drink drink until i can't even stand up and i can't remember the things i do already, but heard from my friends it wasn't good. so just want to say sorry and all the unglam things i've done. i need to control my drinking already, if not sooner or later my name will be going down the drain.

talking about friday, i skipped school on friday and i'm so freaking worried about my school results already. it is going to hit rock bottom already and i seriously believe that i need to do something about it. how i wish that my monday seems like a sunday, everyday my world seems like a sunday, saturday, tuesday wednesday and friday everyday my world feels like a sunday, FUNNYday~

My retarded post~ lol. boring~ but with many pictures lol. *ends*

Around the safari

_Night safari show_

CamPictures____

___animals on the trails__

Fake Zebra. LOL
Real bat. very big lei! scary

Weird position tribal statues. LOL. man doin with crocodile

Mass Orgy. Eww.

Kuku Bird

2007-05-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

Finally a new step in my life.

Before the Happiness, sadness comes first i've gotten a D for my applied chemistry UT, how like that?! terrible terrible is what i can say. i'm so lost in school, i have totally no mood to study for other modules i only like 1 module which is an elective but how can i give up my core 3 modules for an elective, which is like totally silliness lor.

At least this is the last week of school which is week 7 but for the last 6 weeks, my applied chem, signal processing and biomedical instrumentation the daily grades can die man! i want to salvage the situation but how am i supposed to do that? i can't seem to project that good boy and hard working impression for the facilitator i'm at my wits end i feel like just e-mailing them to stop giving me fucking C's! i'm so tired of everything and looking at those grades it is like a discouragement. if my life isn't smooth sailing, if my life in school is good, i would feel so much better but everything is like so rough and bumpy.

However in life when there is down, there will always be up too. i finally found myself a job to support myself and my clubbing cum shopping lifestyle. this means ben is going to be busy, ben can't go down town as often anymore, ben can't meet people as and when he likes and ben have to work first before going down to maxwell to club. So sad! but for the sake of the money i guess i just have to do some sacrifices.

Ben is Saving up for?

-Louis Vuittion Wallet For 1 for me and 1 for my mother.

-Saving $$ for P.S

-Facial package

-A black Jacket

-Define Lens

-Stripshow for my 21 birthday

Ben is very happy to meet mango and jolene this wednesday, i'll be accompanying mango to work at PC bunk at plaza singapura, free can come and visit me, but hor but hor.. i might be too busy to entertain lei. hais so sad. anyway working there $5/hr earn abit abit den go buy something to make myself happy or should i save? Bleahx like i can save like that. then after that i'm going to meet jolene dear i don't know where got dinner to discuss about helping her with some modeling thing for her new clothesline. i'm not confirm if she will choose me but yup can't wait haha. it's been so long since i last met her now going to meet her like so excited.

As i was saying i found a job at the night safari, doing retail and today after school i'll be going down for an orientation, i wonder what we are going to do, hopefully we get a tour around the place go sightseeing, go inside for FREE! there are 5 retail outlets there and i want to work at BEN N JERRY ice cream!!! i want to EAT ICE CREAM and become fat fat. haha!

i seriously plan to work long for this job but the pay abit low $6, ok la not very low but the working hours is fixed 7 hours so that means 1 day i don't even earn like 50$ thats so pathetic. i calculated that each month i will get roughly 700 dollars. omg 700$!! so little. ><" how like that?

i'll be working with garrick and jeannie, we went for the interview together and it we got in together. Luckily the 5 retail outlets are on the same stretch, we can still see each other all the time. even if we are not working in the same outlet.

Nothing to update le.. if not people say i writing 5000 words essay. -.-

Night Safari pictures____

2007-05-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Wheee~ a new post..

i'm in school again and i'm also blogging again. today's module is so freaking boring.. signal processing.. learning all the different equation which is lke so tough so boring!!! arghh i got a freaking C for last week's grade so shitty lo.

the day's problem so hard!!

The other day, which was like the day before yesterday, if i remember correctly. i went to vivocity with garrick and jeannie, we did alot alot of walking and alot of shopping for clothes but we just have to wait till the great singapore sales which is coming soon on the 27th of May i guess. We had alot of fun there, talking, talking talking and more talking. garrick is always doing silly stuff, thinking he is very cute but BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! lol! anyway just kidding.

At vivo, we walked from shop to shop, browsing through their items, there is so many things i want to buy!!! clothes pants shoes watch and wallet!! arghhh but the S and 11 not enough la hor. $$$$$$ where to get more $$$$$$. i need a job badly but with a job then where is my free time to go out with my friends and most importantly i cannot go clubbing no more unless i want to look like a zombie with dark eye circle which i already have but i don't want it to become darker. but if i got the money from work i can buy eye ring remover from the face shop.

jeannie and me.. walking walking walking..

i went to the face shop there is so many products i want to buy!!! i want to buy the face scrub and the cell renewal thing. the face shoppppp~~~ lalala~ if i was a rich boy lalalalalalala~ if i had all the money in the world if i was a wealthy boy.... i walked pass armani xchange and i want to buy this bag but i don't know how much it is and also at harbourfront center in animal i want to buy this big big bag which cast 200$.

i know that i'll be a very happy boy if i have all the money in the world i would go shopping everyday and i don't even want to go to school. i would ask my friends out for lunch or dinner, accompany me go shopping and shopping and more shopping. i don't like shopping when i have no money makes me sad. however when i'm sad and i buy something it makes me happy. wahahahaha!! buying gift for people to make them as happy as me and i would donate to those needy people. but all this is just a dream. before shopping i want plastic surgery i want to be MR. Perfect. haha~

hmmm. enough of nonsense talk. yesterday in school was also another pretty boring day get to see mr tomato nose, always digging his nose. imagine sticking 2 fingers into each hole individually. so scary man! after school i had my UT aka understanding test 5 questions i know how to answer none of them. i was like diao diao diao.. i was like how how how!!!! then i anyhow bomb from the 6th ppt i didn't even know what i was writing down. talking about this it reminds me that i've gotten a C for my elective favourite module UT. i'm so SAD! i at least expected a B or something.

i've no idea why this new semester i just don't have that vibe to concentrate in class or like put a little effort to study. i just cant seem to find it. i've got a very bad feeling that this semester is going to have a big impact on my overall GPA a big drop~ my PP is still not done i'm so dead.

after school i went down to town and did the usual of sitting around doing nothing and waiting for time to pass so we can go down to maxwell and watch performance. we which includes kenneth, calli and me accompanied addy, warren to go buy make up because it was addy's first time to perform at why not.. wheee i was so excited for him i want to see how hot he can be.

walked to taka then to wisma and then back to cineleisure again to meet weijie and yangyang then off we go down to maxwell. we went to watch show and there was tension in the air, but i don't know anything about it. Mummy was so pretty that night in the wedding dress, mummy no need scared never get to wear wedding dress because u got the experience le. hahaha!

garrick wans the middle one. buy for his birthday!

Uncle garrick on the sampan. row row row your boat gently down the stream...

2007-05-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

After so long of inactivty, i finally revive my so called "dead" blog.

i haven't touched my blog for a very long time, i have been wanting to blog but was too lazy and procastination has got the worst out of me. day by day, and soon it became a month plus. now i'm in school and first time in my schooling life i'm blogging in school. i'm having Anatomy and physiology 2! my favourite module.. i got a picture of a skeleton. today we learning about the pelvic bone, fuck man just 1 freaking bone got so much thing to study.

*she touching skelly's skull*

*naked Skelly*

*omg wad is teacher doing with the skeleton*

A month can be considered quite short as time flies, however within this short period of time so much things has happened, i don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing and school stuff have been haunting me, i have yet to submit my Professional Profiling and the deadline is due in 8 days if i do not have it done by then, i have to repeat another year in school. it can be a good thing to cause i can defer my national service by another year and i'll be left idling for a year doing nothing and there is a high chance i might not even be working.

i totally regretted not doing my professional profiling earlier. ARGH! thinking of it makes me want to rip my hair off which i will not as my hair to me is precious.. earlier on my pp i could have just interview any individual and this is so much easier. i could have just interview my mom, but now i have to do a report on a company. awwww so tedious.. 8 days left!!! i have no idea who i'm going to interview i scared due to the rush to make it by the deadline and i take a wrong step and in the end i will fail my pp and in the end all my efforts come to a naught.

My final year project is such a drag, our team till now is still unable to find a suitable sensor for our project and we are at our wits end. i believe in what the sales person has said about our project it is too demanding and it is already available in the market if we can easily do a project similar to that that is in the market then what is it's market value since poly students can even do it. our project is stucked at the same place for almost 5 weeks already i have a very bad feeling about it. i've finished my report but now what we are doing is like the same thing over and over again. we are doing literature review almost all the time and there is no improvement in the practical part, without the sensor we are left helpess as we need to know the voltage which the sensor run on in order to develop the amplifer to amplify the incoming signal to be sent to the DAQ which we have not even buy so the sensor is a very important step for us but we just cant seem to make that first step.

a few days back i went out with garrick to bugis to sell my darling w900i. she too old le 1 year plus already so it's time to let go although i don't really want to but it has been giving me problem and i should trade-in before it loses any more of its value, now using k800 i took from my dad. i sold my darling for 330 and dad gave me 30$ and i had to give him 300$ i want to buy S500 from sony ericsson. it looks so elegant and stylish. me and garrick went to so many different shop to check the highest price they offer for our phone, we went to sim lim square and walk walk checked out those cheapo mp3 players, although it is cheapo, it packs a punch. it has a 3 megapixel camera, games, document reader, picture viewer, mpeg4 viewer and recorder. for 200$ only we plan to buy 1 each.

this reminds me of someone, thinking about it makes me kind of sad.

we used to be close but now we are just normal hi, bye friends..

we seems to have endless things to talk about but now we give each other a cold shoulder.

you used to be unhappy with me being close to other people but now i see the same scenario.

we used to go out together hang out together and have your attention but now your attention is on other people and you rarely set eyes on me anymore.

i told you how i feel, but i was replied with a 'you'll get used to it' i quite surprised you would say that but now you have said that i just have to do as i'm told. i'm sure i'll be able to get used to it. there are a few promises we made with each other that have yet to be fulfilled but nevermind let it all be buried with our past, cause i don't want to think about it anymore. i feel like i'm the second him, now you shoot me when i'm talking. since you already have you own life and your own new group of friends why you even bother what i did in the club. Anyway all good things will come to an end i will not long for it anymore just let it drift away with the ticking of the clock.

anyway yesterday was majong day, after school went to fiona house for 2 round majong. i didn't play at all i was there to sleep only. benji, lynn, fiona, kenneth and jojo played and i ZZZ on the bed then later brian came and followed by shu hui, as for me still continued sleeping, around 12 i took a cab home together with brian, kenneth and jojo home. Benji and lynn left earlier after the first round. i went there eat chocolate and went back to sleep so much fun. LIKE REAL -.-"

Before the majong thing after school, in school i was playing with photoshop edited a few pictures to be uploaded into friendster. while i was browsing through other people's friendster i realised many of them had their pictures so called beautified with photoshop so i had to experiment with mine, hope it doesn't looks so shabby. can view my friendster at www.friendster.com/benb3nben .

2007-04-22T02:49:00.000-07:00

Typical Sunday..

I realised i blog inconsistantly and it is usually over a long period of time because of time restrain and it is weird to always start my post with "it has been a long time since i last blog". so i guess i'll just get to the point.

School has started for 5 days now, i love school, i like the company in there, but i dread waking up early and doing work how i wish i could go back to playschool, where i can go to school and watch mickey mouse or pokemon with all my classmates, without having to worry about money, boredom or friends.

i really wish school hasnt't started at all i'm still in that holiday mood, in school i can't concentrate and i don't feel like waking up to go to school, to make things worst my freaking VPN got some freaking problems then i can't submit my reflection journal and i got a fucking C and the 2nd day i got caught sleeping in class :( ended up i got a C also. i hate C's i wan MORE B's or A's... having C's is totally a bummer and a mood spoiler.

Well enough of school, i bet nobody would want to hear my foolish ranting about school. Anyway i happened to Read Chuyang's lastest entry and i find it very meaningful and clearly very well defined principle of friends in the circle and the things we do. Look for:

Sunday, April 22, 2007 - Whats with my corny titles?

for the last weeks it was very random and nothing much to talk about, other than friday and saturday, friday i went down to support imran at play, and god does he sing well. usually i do hear him sing s hum or a haw but that night's performance was spectacular, didn't thought of imran teddy bear could sing so well and the other performer in comparision to him were made into a joke, anyway congrats to him for making into the finals and hope he get first which i know he will definately get it. :D

*Tat nite @ play there were so many Hot stuff.. my eyes were tired after that.* :(

After play i went down to whynot, for the beach party event preview, we did the usual things, like watching their flair's performance and spent the night clubbing away.

Then it was saturday, woke up went down to cineleisure to find shuhui to buy my pants from 77th street. i waited for her to end work and went with her to try it she said it was plain and expensive but i don't know why i just like it lots and she showed me another design which suited me better and i bought that at the same price. i hate to go shopping, not that i hate it literally but i hate to go when i'm like broke. i only like it when it is at the starting of the month where i get my monthly allowance and can spend like nobody business and then only to end up being a penniless guy at the end. i've got so many things i want to buy!!! i need to get a job and if i do ben is going to be a BB.. BusyBen no more outing for me. i'm going to be a monotonous guy, of having to go to school, work, home and the cycle continues.

i heard from my classmate that cafe del mar has vacancies and that place is a wonderful place to work in with nice scenery by the beach with many hotties and the ambience of the cafe is fantastic. i've always wanted to work there since i last saw it. i'm looking for somebody to work with me there or the lonely journey to sentosa is going to kill me.

then me and shu hui headed down to far east for dinner and we had no money to pay because i left my wallet in mummy's bag and the aunty was closing for the day already and mummy was at cine and far east is really far away and the aunty of the shop said nevermind that shuhui can pay another time because she remembers her face that she came here to eat often. this is call Shuhui's benefits. haha~

After all those series of events, i headed down to maxwell and shuhui went home at maxwell was the beach party.. the interior of whynot has been reformed but it still seems kind of slacking, many people were wearing singlet, boardshorts and slippers, as for me i was wearing a sleeveless shirt borrowed from brian and a short with shoes. you must be thinking why shoes well i did thought of club hopping to go to play but yesterday kenneth's friend gaybe came to whynot so didn't had a chance to go down there but it's ok. :)

A nice quote to end my post..

"Success is getting and achieving what you want. Happiness is wanting and being content with what you get."

+++_pictures_+++

This Chicken is Garrick the Cock. haha!

Me and Garrick at maxwell after beach party. xD

The pants i bought from 77th street. hee

Ming Yang CamWhoring with my Phone. BOOO!

FriendShip Keychain Me and jeannie *BEST BUDDY*Pepsi new cool design. ChioNess..Self matched Clique keychain.. Still lacking Tino and Shu hui.. :D

Sweet ShuHui gimme. Cute hor.

Photo-taking in my school library..

+===Videos===+

2007-04-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

Moodless day____ -continuation from previous post-

I was bored and stoning like a zombie at home, staring at the computer screen for hours, not sure what i was looking at, all i know i was scrolling through the same things over and over again. i wonder what would i be doing if i do not have a blog for me to stare at and edit when i'm free.

Today, everybody had their own plans, kenneth and gang was in town, but what was there to do in town? walking up and down cineleisure, sitting at the basement _eating, drinking, slacking and gossiping_, sit outside of cineleisure_smoke, slack and more gossips. boring.. i rather stay at home at least i could save money as i'm quite broke now and it is not even near the end of the month. shu hui was working today and she is supposed to go weihao's house to help him with something after work and tino had his own plans, leaving me to draw up plans for the evening.

i called mummy and asked where is he and asked if he was going down to whynot, as it has been quite sometime since i went down and school is re-opening soon and i'm not sure if i would still have the time and energy to go down there. he replied he was at whynot already and he was having performance today. i decided to go down to find him, support mummy's performance. But i do not want to pay the cover charge, mummy asked me to come down earlier so he could bring me in and so i rushed down and mummy was waiting for me outside he brought me in and only to be kicked out later. *SAD*

Today Whynot had an event and it was spectacular. however i was totally not in the mood, smses keep coming in, leaving me worried for someone. During the whole event, i just cant get it out of my head, people keep asking me to leave my unhappiness behind and just enjoy the night, but how can i? what a way to end my holiday at whynot. everybody there were so happy and dancing away and i stood there, my favourite songs went past me without the energy and the vibe to make me feel like dancing. why do thing have to turn out this way? i sort of knew this would happen, i was trying hard to prevent it but "paper can never wrap fire". i didn't want to hurt you and neither did i say those things in purpose to hurt you. i do not know what to say to console and comfort you, i believe the more i say the sadder you become, this leaves me helpless and i can't help but to blame myself for this whole thing, is it because i didn't handle it well or i'm not good with words.

Ben is sad N confused.

Below are the videos which i forget to upload previous when mummy, shuhui, tino and i were at macdonalds slacking and we were playing with the macdonald's TV, don't know what @Life thing. FREE publicity. *fun fun fun*

Videos of whynot__
-the video sucks cause my phone no memory already, anyway just a preview-

this is mummy ^^ Sexyy

2007-04-13T02:50:00.000-07:00

Trapped @ home.

I woked up at 5 and had nothing to do only to come online and see if there is anybody to chat with but unfortunately there isn't. so i went to do my blog stuff, added some addition crap to it, hopefully to make it more unique. haha. i happened to chance upon this quiz, a special one that do not need you to answer any weird questions but just to enter your full name and results will be given and it is calculated by numerology. *Coolness*

_results_
There are 21 letters in your name.Those 21 letters total to 99There are 7 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.
If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.
Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 3
A Soul Urge number of 3 means: With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.
You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.
The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.
On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6
An Inner Dream number of 6 means: You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp <---link for quiz

When i was on youtube, one of the featured video's title caught my attention, clicked on it and it wasn't that disappointing at all. the video's animation is cool, it looks very much like iRobots. it is so intriguing to see how the body's cells works, the video makes it look like a fantasy, this is a video that one should not misss.

2007-04-12T14:54:00.000-07:00

____-Test of Faith.

Yesterday i went to watch a movie called the "The Reaping", it was quite an amazing story with quite a unforeseen twist at the end of the show. the show mainly is about faith and the trust in god. As for myself i'm very ashamed of myself as i feel that i've sidetrack from "the way", i feel that i should get back on track and re-affirm my trust and faith in god. during the show i held on to my cross, i dunno why at the ending i actually felt like crying haha, i could feel the tears in my eyes. maybe i just felt that so much as happen i know that god is the only one that i can trust and believe in to be there for me.

The summary of the movie:

Hilary Swank plays a former Christian missionary who lost her faith after her family was tragically killed, and has since become a world-renowned expert in disproving religious phenomena. But when she investigates a small Louisiana town that is suffering from what appear to be the Biblical plagues, she realizes that science cannot explain it.

i give it 4/5 *GREAT*

From the movie i realised that being human as we are, we are prone to believe what we can see, therefore very much of the time, we fall victim to the works of the devil. devil manifest itself in many ways. the people said that god werent there for them when they needed them and therefore they jumped to the help of the devil and start to stray away from god. but god is actually around them all the time even if they still believe in him or not.

Trust..

-To have or place confidence in; depend on.
-To expect with assurance; assume: I trust that you will be on time.
-To believe: I trust what you say.
-To place in the care of another; entrust.
-To grant discretion to confidently

-To extend credit to.

i happened to walk pass heng poh jewellery and found their new collection "itrustme", very intriguing. the Word "Trust" simple and short yet complex.

the words found on the poster is:

what have i given, what have i got.

Did i win, did i lose.

who's better, who's richer

who's thinner

how come these things don't matter much?

Could it be because

I trust me?

this few lines of words have left me pondering for a long time.

i've read your blog regarding to the things i've brought up. it seems like we both have our own point of perception, this is a hole that is left open and i have no idea how to fill it. i cant force my own views and opinions on you, because there is no right or wrong in the first place. i met you at cine and maxwell, we were so close yet so far, we exchanged glances at each other but no words were spoken, we've been alienated.

After the movie me and shu hui went down to maxwell, it was such a waste that we couldn't make it down in time to catch mummy's performance. mummy i'm sorry i never came down to see your performance. my daddy has to entertain his customer tomorrow morning and mummy have to go see some guy for some spiritual healing thing and therefore unable to come down, so sorry.

we slacked around maxwell market and did some catching up. it's been a very long time since i last came down to maxwell already, i felt out of place there already, could it be because of the period of time i've not come down or the situation i'm in now that leaves me feeling out of place. i managed to see hika's now found snake which he showed me over the webcam earlier in the day, it is so cute but so fragile, like anytime i may crush it to death. it looks more like an earthworm than a snake to me. haha. i've capture a video of it.

after our meal at maxwell, we went down to tantric to slack again. went down and saw imran haha. so happy to see him as it's been quite some time i've last saw him. he is one friendly chap. :D tantric's crowd seems to be a little on the underwhelming side, as compared to the previous time i went it where i couldn't even turn around without brushing shoulders against my neighbour.

on top of that, it suddenly came to my mind that school is starting real soon. i've heard bit and pieces from different people that they are already doing their FYP and their PP, while i've been procrastinating and having fun. what should i do? having fun is 2nd nature to me, i can't give it up just like that, but school is much more important. i don't want to go back to school. i want to continue my vampire lifestyle. which i will miss very much when my school finally opens on the 16!

Stress stress stress. Guess i'll just take things 1 step at a time.

*_____Pictures!

Wth is this bread even edible? looks more like charcoal.

Different flavours from hello panda i've never seen before from the ValueDollar shop.

Beautiful morning sky at serangoon north.

Interesting Poster eh.

This is supposed to be my new blog skin. incomplete construction.

xxxxxxxVideosxxxxxxx

Hika's earthworm snake.

2007-04-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

******* Emo Post.*****

It's been some time since i last blogged.

So many things have happened over a short 8 days. My mind consist of jumbled thoughts and feelings. so many things i want to say but i'm being restricted. Over the 8 days, there were happiness, sorrows, agony, confusion, angst and not to leave out depression.

What is in my mind is something i cant decipher myself, it keeps repeating itself at the back of my head even when i don't want to think about it. i feel i've lost my fomer self, where there were no restrictions in actions. i've heard very ghastly things, some i still can't believe and don't want to believe. I cant believe my friend standing at someone else side and is flaming me. i know you are disappointed in me, but i'm very much disappointed in you as much as you are. Talking about how much i've changed, you dare say you didn't? you very much changed as much as i do.

you say that i'm a bad person, you always remember all the bad things i've done but have you ever remember all the things i've done for you? you cast a bad light on me, what do you stand to gain from it? i'm very sad that things have turned out this way, years of friendship only to go down the drain. i'm only human, it's human nature to err but i'm being condemn to you. i've got my life to live, i cant plan my life according to what you want me to. i don't want to go out with you doesnt mean you mean nothing in my life, it is just i'm not interested in that activity. i find it fair that i want to do what makes me happy. i believe you would too. you can't force people against their will and use friendship and temper to enforce it.

you want me to forget the person i like, but could do so easily? i saw you cried, i consoled you and asked if you were ok, were you there to do the same for me when i was feeling low? you feel jealous of others, why? why must you feel this way, to me you aren't inferior to any of them. you say i don't treat you as good as others because of the way you look. but look how long have we been friends. Do you treat all your friends the same? it is natural that you treat different people differently, because people are different. you have always gave me an independent security that you do not need me to give you much assurance. anyway, for now things looks way out of hand, i wonder what the future bring about our friendship.

My bioclock has been edited, i've been sleeping in the morning and waking up at night and do night walking, sometimes wandering alone at night, pondering over things and thinking of a solution. i feel so helpless, i always wished how things could be so simple and perfect. My life isn't that perfect, i've got my own woes and despairs. Things happened to fast for me to even know what was going on, before i have any idea, i'm bombarded with problems. why do i have all this problems it is because i still care for all of my friends. i don't want to lose you guys but because of certain problems, i'm starting to see the crack line and i'm thinking hard how to salvage the problem.

I know many people are unhappy with me, what can i do? i sometimes wished i could just leave all of this behind but i can't. i know it is the things i do but sometimes things do not always go the way it plans cause the world isn't perfect in the first place. you may want to do this today and have everything all drawn up but on that very day, a relative passed away and you are unable to do it. this is how harsh the world is. the same goes for my dentist appointment i've procrastinate for 3 days already. the first day i couldn't get up and decided to go the next day and when i did, it was closed. so i could only go on the 3rd day. i want to be that perfect friend for everybody but is that possible? unfortunately, "PERFECT" doesnt exist in this world.

As for the east coast thing, it is all my fault if i know how to go there by myself, all these wouldn't have happened. I didn't expect things to turn out this way. blame me for being so disorganized and stupid for not knowing how to go to east coast. i'm the root of the problem and i'm very sorry about it, hope things will blow over soon. :(

today i stayed at home the whole day, i didn't go out. i had no mood at all, i spent my time sleeping and i really wish i could just sleep forever. when i was sleeping, my mom came in and pat my head, i felt loved. My mum is my best friend which will never be angry with me or backstab me. when she has finished asking me how was i, i very much wanted to hug her and tell her how much i love her. <3 mummy.

What people see is the surface of ben, not many people understand ben, even ben don't even understand himself. what he wants? what he needs and what he expects. ben is lost and confused. luckily i still have Bf, he makes the efforts to understand me and how i feel, he feels unjust for me when what the rumours said are not true because he knows ben isn't such a person.

Ben is doesn't think before he talks and ben is sorry for it.
Ben is poor and ben is sorry for it.
Ben is stupid and ben is sorry for it.
Ben is not a good friend and ben is sorry for it.
Ben neglects some of his friends and ben is sorry for it.
Ben do not know how to control his feelings and actions and ben is sorry for it.
Ben can't be that good friend and be there by your side and ben is sorry for it.
Ben does stupid things and ben is sorry for it.
Ben can't do what you want him to and ben is sorry for it.
Ben wans to be perfect.

I wish things will turn out for the better. *prays to the Shooting star*

2007-03-31T19:10:00.000-07:00

My Favourite Family picture ^^

Ryan as 7-11 cleaner.
Nicholas getting ready to drag for 147 - serangoon north ave 1
huihui and me *smile*
Drag - Miss Valentina
Tino, michelle and me.

nicholas and me
Zeke and me.
calvin and Joanne. heeee!

Nicholas when he is high at night!

Mummy and me ^_^V michelle and me. like couple liddat.

Michelle and me at the Ko*sumthing* at cineleisure basement
tino carry his mummy. Power!

michelle and me againnn. with the pink toy frog.

Coke fetish. =X

huihui and me at maxwell market.
huihui and me at playground. hee!
me wif jake's glasses

Michelle and ME *CAMWhoring*

Kenneth and me.

Ryan and me ^^
nicholas, bryan and me
Wooo first time take pic can see my teeth.
Joanne and me.

Pictures.. *yawns* must UPLOAD! argh!! i upload and kena Fucking ERROR i HATE SINGNET!

After Being Dormant for Ages, I'm Back~

For the Past few days, it has been the same monotonous activities, ranging from going down to town, slacking and night walks with shu hui at serangoon north ave 1. School is starting real soon and i'm afraid i'm unable to cope to the new lifestyle i'm getting used to. I wish time would stop and i could live in this forever, not wanting to grow old and bear responsibilities.

For the past few days, i've been sleeping much or should i say staying at home. i've been sleeping in the wee hours of the morning only to wake up in the late afternoon and going out again, this cycle repeats itself on a daily basis. Nothing seems interesting anymore, hanging around cineleisure eating, slacking, cruising, walking and shopping. The Last but not least CAMWHORING. I've got so many pictures to upload and thinking of it makes me tired to blog already, but pictures are more important than words afterall a picture speaks more than a thousand words.

Nothing much to blog about due to the fact that almost everyday is the same thing, except that we went to newton circus to eat and also east coast to meet shu hui at her class BBQ. The night we went to newton circus for dinner was fun however the food suxs, all i had was Stingray and RICE so pathetic. i do not know what has happened to me but my appetite has had a big change and it is quite a shock to me at the rate i'm eating and having the feeling of wanting to eat which this has never happened to me before. i wanted a nice hearty full dinner but in the end i wasn't very happy with the PLAIN RICE and chilli stingray. In the end we still laze around and talk nonsense again and again. it seems like a routine which i can get used to but over a period of time it seems quite a drag. What is worst is That was a thursday Night which means we were supposed to be at WHYNOT watching drag show and supporting Andy lim's performance as dancer and not drag. = All because of mummy's fault he don't want to drag because he is sick. poor thing hopes he get well soon. ^^ i forget to List the people there at the dinner. THERE WERE____ Mummy, Joanne, Calvin, Ryan, Bryan, Michelle, Kenneth, Tino, Nicholas, Gary and Zeke came at the end and last but not least, me! xD

After everything, Tino, shu hui and nicholas came my house to sleep, that was the first time i slept for 12 hours, from morning 6+ to evening 7. It is very scary knowing how much those pigs can sleep. It was so weird first time sleeping from morning to evening, anticipating for the sky to turn dark and go out again. but Poor shu hui she had to work, she set her alarm at 12.30 and i went to turn it off cause it disturbed my sleep and in the end she was late for work. She is going to lose 8 hours of her pay. haha! Tino, nicholas and i went for dinner at 147 again. Nicholas had to go home after that. we went to meet mummy and gary and that when me and tino got to learn how to dance "Upa Upa" from mummy. Me and tino going to be DANCERS for mummy soon.

Shu hui called me and asked if i wanted to come down to meet her at east coast park as she is having a class BBQ, i asked mummy and gary if they wanted to go down, they were ok with it as serangoon is getting to be a real boring place to me after all the nightwalks with shu hui. everywhere has been covered by us, nothing interesting anymore. Tino had to meet his friend therefore mummy, gary and i left for east coast first and tino is to meet us later. We had to take a bus and had to walk. BOOO!

when we reached there, we went to macdonalds and eat again! no wonder i'm getting fatter and fatter, to me it is a good thing but to my tummy it is not. =(

when we were eating shu hui came to find us and brought us to meet her friends. she showed us her ex boyfriend whom she said was not hot and i agree. It was quite boring there, there was nothing much to do and so mummy and i practise more dance steps. After that, we went for a BIG and LONG walk. it was very much further than the walks i took at serangoon north. it was all mummy's idea. he wants to go see aeroplane fly here and there but it was too far, our legs cannot make it. Then tino smsed me and said he was at safra already then BlurQueen mummy thought it was the golf course there and we walked back the same direction again and it was the opposite direction from where tino was. What made things worst was tino's phone has a flat batt. last night never charge enough for him. IF i had known i would have charge more for him. lol.
we asked for directions from passer-by and we walked back again and we found him near macdonald and WE WENT FOR BREAKFAST! Tino and i had hotcake meal. We folded many strawharts!. Oh i forget to announce that i now can finally fold strawharts! wheeee!!! wholeday just keep folding and folding. AJ have nothing better to do. -.-

Then after all those things we went home, mummy came my house to stay over because that stupid kenneth pang seh him. he ought to be punish, but how to punish a hamster. O.o" drown it in water or flush down the toilet bowl.

Thennnnnnnnnnnnn..... i Zzzz le. *knocks knocks* kenneth came my house le. he bought breakfast for me and mummy. i lazy to wake up so they left me behind and went to eat lunch with michelle. later when i wake up mummy and kenneth already in town with tino and shu hui and Brandon. i feel so pang sehhhhhhhh!!! -.-

So i went down ALONE!!!! to meet them for dinner because i woke up at 4pm. Then we did the usual things again!!!! we sit around, laze around and cruising again, not long after, joanne, weihao, lionel and joe came down and they sit with us to SPOT 'Demonsss'. their favourite pastime. I never wear lens nor glasses so i cant see anything, so i do my own things.
Oh ya! keith friend asked shu hui to help him with a project about Ajs. Shu hui as we all know very willing to help especially about Ajs. But she is afraid of being featured in laselle. so funny!
we slack and slack again! we went outside of cineleisure to meet joanne's boyfriend. we all took the train to ang mo kio. there were alot of tension going on behind the scene, everybody felt awkward but lucky it is all history now. calvin went to joanne's house while shu hui, garrick, mummy, kenneth, brandon came to serangoon to slack.

we went for prata and tino came to meet us at around 2am+, there was some misunderstanding but luckily it's over. tino walked from serangoon to serangoon north to find us, we sit down and talked about things.

talking about this, i remembered something which i don't really understand. Ajs can't talk openly at the table in a group. they might be sitting close to one another but they will whisper, or use their phone to sms although they are all around the table, it sucks man. it is like so irritating and it was quite disrespectful to friends when people do that. but i understand that the circle is small and everything is connected or linked. well it is just a feeling on my part.

When we are done, tino had to go home because he had to go grave cleaning with his parents. shu hui, garrick and brandon walked him home while mummy and i went home. while at home, we had a heart to heart talk, and i felt much better, i wonder what would life be now with out my mummy's listening ears and advices. *sms received*

shu hui, garrick and brandon is at 147 and shu hui bought fishball noodles for me! YEY! she knows i love fishball noodles hehe. not to forget she also bought porridge for mummy. so sweet. :D we sit there again and talk again. -.- i think if we continue this i'm going to have a flat ass. The same shape as the chair already.

Everything over le and now i'm home le with mummy beside me while i compose this post. <3

Now going to ZzZzZzZ already. ^^

Videos Below.________

This is Tino!! Sexy Boy

2007-03-28T02:04:00.000-07:00

New Day~

me and shu hui wake up late. we were supposed to reach kenneth house by 10 to eat breakfast but we slacked till so late so what to do. The people there includes Mummy, michelle, tino, fiona and kenneth. i had a doctor appointment at 2.25 at the national skin center for some follow up on the infection i have. i was super lazy i didn't want to go, because it was so far near tan tock seng. Grr.

shu hui and me slacked on the bed using laptop, i went to bathe while shu hui was blogging. After all was done, i accompanied her home to bathe and change out of her yesterday's clothes. she passed me her personal collection of photo album, interesting pictures inside. i managed to grab a few. but it suxs man my phone didn't charge properly last night and i was left with 34% of power left. i had to conserve because it was a long day ahead and a row of plans lined up waiting for us to do. I saw the notorious kids that shu hui had told me about, they picha her lobang. not really cute, cause i don't really like kids. The kids mom also very dao.. terrible man. i said hi then no response it was so embarrassing.

after shu hui was done we took a train down to the national skin center we were talking and singing songs on the way when it started to drizzle. i went into Clinic F and i had no idea what to do as it was my first time follow up on an appointment there. luckily we read the instructions on the reception desk. i had my queue number and waited for my turn. i went in the room and the doctor asked me questions if my keloids had ceased i said abit and he asked alot of stupid questions i mean those question even a nurse can ask me i had to wait so long for such predictable answers. he asked if i needed an MC i was like for what? unless it is free then i want. i could see the expression on his face changed like not very happy but who cares.

i went for my jabs and i wanted to take a picture but the nurse was cleaning up before i could do the shot. thus the picture is blur and i bet if i never say nobody would be able to guess it.

After the doctor. me and huihui went for lunch~ at Velocity we had korean food. there so many TL, lol shu hui my special radar always beeping away beside me. very interesting to keep guessing. the aunty of the korean cruisine keeps looking at us i've got no idea why. maybe we too close looking le haha. the soup they gave looks liek sharks fin but taste different haha. too much vinegar. I Hate It.

After our meal, we go walk walk i want to go and see my orange jacket again which i'm so into it. i've got no idea why since last month i'm starting to like orange alot. ever since i chance upon that jacket. i want now got 30% discount but i'm totally broke my bank only has 20$ left and god knows how i'm going to live through the days without spare cash.

we walked around looking for things to do or see, shu hui wanted to go look look at square 2 the new mall that not yet launch. she saw mondo and she was crazy already keep repeating " I'm so TEMPTED" all cause it was 9.90 per pair of shoes and she want to get a ultra high heel. She say she wants to be taller me me. HuiHui 1 phrase for you. Wait long long ^^.

i called kenneth asked what time they going kbox i asked to go amk's kbox so it would be easier for us, as we need not go back to serangoon and back to amk again. while waiting for them to come, we went shopping at Street One 2nd floor at Big Mac Center, not everybody knows about it even though shu hui stays amk, she has no idea that place existed it was fiona that intro to me that place. shu hui and i went walk walk inside and i wanted to buy this berms it was 25$ shu hui bargain for me until 22$ but i don't have loose cash on me i need to go draw but before i could draw they reach already so the poor uncle was happy for nothing. i didn't buy it in the end.

we went kbox and did what people would usually do, sing and make a fool of yourself. well if it all for fun laughter peace and joy then it is all worthwhile. tino send me the song i wanted.. so happy and therefore i changed my blog song already. i initially thought he will forget because it kinda slipped my mind. thanks tino

i took a video of Kbox Dancing queen, Michelle LOO! her singing and dancing very cute la. it is a definitely a plus plus. haha! Me still trying to learn more new chinese songs and also to train my vocal cause i feel i cant sing, i can only scream scream until no voice. *shagged*

We went for supper at S-11 mummy treat me eat because me no $$ le. i eat fishball noodle soup, i put chilli inside and i accideally bite on the chilli arghh.. i was stunned it was so spicy, as i don't eat chilli because something weird will happen. =( *i don't want to say*

then benjamin came to find tino, then we all walked from amk to serangoon. everyday we are doing night walks. How i'm i going to gain weight like that if i keep walking. -.- after the long walk, mummy, shu hui and me went for prata again tino and ben had to go home so we ate prata ourself. i ordered the same things but i've no idea why isn't it as nice as the other day. shucks!

mummy, shu hui and me we went to the playground again and sit, slack and talked. it was already around 6+ then i felt hungry again so i asked them accompany me go eat breakfast! i ordered 2 eggs, 1 piece of kaya butter bread and 1 cup of iced milo. FINISHED le but still hungry so i ordered Zhu Chang Fen inside got char siew because i don't eat seafood.

After that walked mummy and shu hui to the bus stop then i go home sleep le. BOO!

Pictures____________

Small Shu hui.. LOL!

Small Shu hui in Toy car! SO CUTE!!!!!

HaHa! more pictures~

My Queue Number!! + Appointment card

Waiting for my turn so Take picture. xD

ShuHui Hearts.. <3 eu ^^

Finish my JAB! xD

Smile... Miss thailand!

Lunch! at Kopitiam.

Naked ManiQueen.

~~~Showtime~~~

Welcome Show Queen Michelle Loo!

2007-03-28T01:13:00.000-07:00

God. so many things happened.. I've got no idea where to start from.

After meeting my group of friends, their silliness amuse me. before i reached serangoon gardens shu hui and zeke was there, but they never notice that chomp chomp was closed, due to some unknown reasons. so we went down to cafe cartel for dinner. The dinner was ok, i'm not really into cartel's food. you get sick of the taste very quickily specially those pasta with cream. yucks! We did many things while waiting for the food to be served in like 30-45 mins. mummy and michelle asked me to do some IQ games and i've completed my trial. so happy! i love to do IQ games. heeee

After eating. we continue to sit there waiting for our andy to come.. when he finally came we walked to a playground near my house, andy, michelle and huihui came up wif me to my house to use the toilet and wanted to bring baby down for a walk but andy dun like small dogs. WEIRD -.-"

we sat there and talk, slack and do nothing, only when andy started to play songs from his phone then Andy lim's dance class commerce le. Mummy and Andy started dancing again. slowly as time slowly faded away with the darkness of the night, people bid their farewell. michelle, andy and mummy had to go back already cause there isn't anymore last bus.

shuhui and me we went back to 7-11 to get my strawberry milk. But there isn't any left soi tried the oat with milk and god does it taste bad. shu hui bought for me strawberry youghurt milk and she drank the oat milk. heeee when we went back to the playground there was a group of people there so i brought her to other playground. we walk and walk.. walking in the night is my favourite past time we walk to many diffferent playgrounds i've forgotten to take picture of everyone we came across. in the end we settled down at a fitness corner at god knows where. we sat there and chit chat, talked abour myself and about the things running in the background now and all the disturbances we faced. we took pictures but so dark and we don't want to on flash because it looks weird.

we slacked till 3 and we went to eat prata. i don't know if i was hungry or what but that was the 2nd best prata i've ever tasted in almost 19 years of my life. the first belongs to the prata at upper thomson =X yummy and after we finished up our prata we went home and bathe liao den sleep le.

_______Pictures time

slacking at the playground.

The fitness corner xD

Shu hui and me at the playground~ *NO FLASH*

Our Prata. *tummy pains*

2007-03-26T03:57:00.000-07:00

_____Boring Day_____

I've been staying at home the whole day today, i've been very lazy to go down for my dental appointment. Suxs man! Have been talking to Hika the whole day doing blog, imeem, friendster and youtube stuff. when i was browsing youtube i remembered the videos i used to upload. all the comical ones i took in school here is one example..

more of it are at youtube. =X

Now getting ready to go Chomp Chomp again.. meeting Andy, Zeke, ShuHui, Mummy and michelle. kenneth smsed me and said he hurt his leg poor thing and on his way to hospital. hopefully he still can keep his hamster leg. hee!

2007-03-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

-Continuation.

nicholas and I met up with mummy and michelle at hougang mall for a short dinner. mummy and michelle shared a plate of chicken rice that's what i had yesterday. talking about coincidence. michelle has been talking to me but i'm not very sure why today i'm abit slow, can't seem to process information fast enough. she seem frustrated today and later on in the day on msn she said she would rather talk to her soft toys so that she can at least strangle them. i was like wtf.. violent man

after the hearty meal, we went down to the basement to buy drinks. mummy and michelle bought orange juice but it was not the taste that i was looking for, so i've choosen a bottle of mineral water. DETOX time.

we walked michelle back to harvey norman and we left hougang mall. we sit near the mrt station as nicholas wanted to have a quick puff. in the end we sat there and looked at the sunset. the crimson coloured sky. then shuhui and tino smsed me that they are going to serangoon chomp chomp for dinner so i agreed.

i left for chomp chomp, mummy left for his friend's house to eat KongBakBao and nicholas went to meet his friends at plaza singapura. i took an mrt with him and i went off first.

I met tino at central and headed down to chomp chomp together. we waited for them to reach the longest was andy lim.

we go order our food and drinks eat and talk cock. sat there absorb all the oil and smell from the place. yucks! we left for a play ground near tino's house, on way we talk and talk. the usual crap stuff. i took a few pictures since nothing to do. tino carried shuhui on his back. photo taken! we walked to the play ground and we learnt dancing whynot move from ANDY jie~ he always say it is easy which is O.o" we see already all Blur liao. in short we had fun without the expenses of money. we took a video of shuhui on the swing she was screaming her lungs out which was so funny everybody was laughing away. the usual Contagious laughter. -.-

then we went home..

pictures_________

A cosy feeling of Serangoon Gardens

Waiting for Everybody so take picture time. xD *tino and Me*

Tino carrying Shuhui *POWER*

Nice blue running lights

A Monokuroboo mirror michelle passed me yesterday.

_____Videos ^^

Shuhui on the swing Video *MUST WATCH*

2007-03-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

Now i'm in my room blogging about yesterday's happening.

Yesterday was quite a day for me, many things happened, i woke up rather early in the morning because i can't sleep and i've done up this blog to be my "Thoughts Bin", where i can dump what i want to say and what have happened here and never to be remembered again.

i was sitting at the computer table waiting for smses from him and anyone of the clique to ask me out, i waited and waited but nothing. so i smsed kenneth and asked him where is he and he said he was at hougang mall so since i felt guilty i pang seh them i decided to go meet them first and head down to town later to meet up with shu hui. the reason they are there is because michelle is working in harvey norman and mummy went down to accompany her to eat lunch since he stayed so close.

I prepared and took a 147 down and met up with michelle we chatted abit and i saw the samsung camera she selling not bad looking ask her to demo to me 2 different models damn cool from the camera can see that the line is actually a line of words. fascinating. *COOLNESS ah michelle* xD

i went up to the food court saw mummy, kenneth, nicholas and calvin. Then Something happened which i don't intend to say. which fiona was calling me and i was unable to answer her call and she was pissed off. i cleared my throat and had to talk to her nicely, only to flare up in the end. i'm sorry but it was just an emotional breakdown.

we all have our own problems and we must never be selfish. do not always think for yourself as you are not in the shoes of others. what we see of people only resides in the surface, we do not see the emotional turmoil going inside their hearts and minds. after saying that i believe we should not make our problem a problem for others as we all have our fair share of problems.

i was quite pissed because what i heard were everything about yourself and your jealously, i just feel that you need to be fair the world doesn't revolve around you. anyway if you wanna play don't be a sore loser and want people to accept you for who you are and that you are like that. cause that is the real bullshit. ( just saying out what i feel no evil intention included)

on a lighter note. i headed down to plaza singapura because nicholas wanted to meet his friends, so i accompanied him and i don't know what the hell was going on, walking up and down and i only find myself going down to cineleisure myself.

i met up with shu hui, saw lionel, glen and another guy don't know how to spell his name. we went to play DOA, i mean shu hui went to play and we watch, she is one hell of a tyco la, with this kind of skill also can win. while she playing halfway, tino suddenly popped out. we went to the food court to eat and everybody was eating chicken rice except for lionel and that guy ate wanton noodles. Anyway i do not know why is there sexual topics everytime we sit down, slack and eat. we talked about trans, don't know what inverted penis and that trans can actually CUM. ewww, omg sickk~

we sit there and chat and chat and we went outside of cine to stand there again. smoking is their usual routine for those that do not smoke it is more talking and admiring the people around us. Be it girls and Boys =X i love humanity. -.-

then shu hui suddenly told me she lost the necklace that she and tino had. i was like Neh Neh POK! where you lose it. so i went with her to go and search for it but it was to no avail. so we continue to sit there and rot rot rot rot. Shu hui and i went back to find the necklace several time but just cant seem to find it. we went to the arcade again and stand around and do nothing and watch people play games.

after all the hoo haa. i guessed shu hui told tino about it and they went to look for it together and they found it. shoots. so happy for shu hui lol. if not she die already.

we went back outside of cine againnnnnnnnn do the usual thing i stated above and we had to decide where to go. i fast forward all the crap talks and everything and the final decision was to come my house and watch DVD.

*FAST FORWARD* reached my house, watched a few movies, a few minutes of Ju-on, See no Evil so we decided to watch art of the devil 2. it is a show filled with gore and sicko minded people. when the show ended we watched 30 mins of pokemon. like wtf right, well it is reliving the good old childhood days.

Breakfast time.. we walked to Serangoon Garden's macdonalds and eat HOTCAKES MEAL. i love it man but it was abit sticky in the mouth very hard to swollow. i told shu hui that and she laughed don't know why also. That dirty minded girl. well after all the eating and drinking it is time to go home and rest already. tino's mum drove us home YEY! save $$ and energy can sleep!

-BED TIME-

Pictures below. =)

Shu Hui and Me With tino specs *orange day*

Shu hui and Me at my house void deck..

Macdonald's breakfast HOTCAKES!

2007-03-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

My First Post For This New Blog I've Created~

It's been a long time since i last blog, I've decided to revive the passion to blog again due to the lack of "Listening Ears". It's been 1 month and 1 week since i've been in the circle already, from what i see the future seems bleak. 1 month and 1 week is enough to witness the dark side of human nature. I've see and hear many things, rumours spreading like wild fire and some things are rather shocking.

the notion of giving up did passed my mind before, however there is this lingering feeling of me unable to let go.

Many things have changed ever since i came in, made new friends, hopefully no enemies. Even close friendship breaks in the face of this new environment, the feeling of jealousy is a powerful tool of destruction. As for me this is the first time i felt jealous for a person. well that's going to be over real soon as it is a promise to myself as it is a terrible feeling, it is not that i will forget it completely but i know i cannot succumb to this temptation so the only way is to suppress this feeling.

I feel the pressure toward myself and friends. sometimes some of my actions makes my friends unhappy with me but i can't help it. I can't bet if you were me you will do the same but once in a blue moon it is ok to do something irrational. i hope.

yesterday was supposed to be a day of mahjong with my mummy (JOJO), fiona, kenneth and michelle. I didn't turn up in the end and went to cine with tino to meet andy, shu hui, glen and lionel to watch teenage mutant ninja turtle. When we reach there we bump unto Imran and Benji. *still pondering if should Join "Mr Tantric".* I know Mummy knows what i'm doing but he doesn't want to say anything makes me guilty but i know mummy will forgive me.

That slow tortoise tino was late made me walk around Junction 8 so many times so i bought a shirt to keep myself occupied. what can be the best remedy for depression then to go shopping and splurge all your cash on stupid things.

Depression Suxs Man!

i've been feeling quite uncomfortable these few days, feeling nauseous. i can't even take in a cup of milo without puking out. lost 2 freaking kilograms. always when i miss or think of that person i feel that way. i wake up i think of that person, then want to sms him but why? what for? it only makes myself look desperate and irritating. so i wait for the initiative. it is a Fucking Terrible feelings of yearning and missing someone. Imagine you wake up then you think of the person you can't even go back to sleep anymore. Anyway that is the past. I need to move on already. If not i will not be going why not or maxwell anymore i'll be on the hospital bed, either from malnutrition or cutting myself again.

yesterday was more of a slack around and do nothing and to catch up on serveral things in the group. i was very happy to see that tino and shu hui was talking to each other yesterday hopefully things will turn out better between them. i was quite bothered by them quarrelling because both of them has their own points of view and perspective and i cant judge who is right or wrong but to listen to both side.

after movie it was probably 11 plus then we chill at the usual hangout the enterance of cineleisure which is like so weird, as there are so many people there and we are like hogging the enterance. We including Kimo stood there until 12, training our leg muscles then we decided to head down to coffee club to chill and slack there i was playing with pepper and tino was filming our whynot princess shu hui of how she moans. ROTFLOL. In the end, everybody was suffering from the lingering scent of pepper in the air and Sneezed first. DAMN! -.-

Following that we walked to Plaze singapura and continue on our journey and reach to The Cathay we actually wanted to go fort canning park but keith and shu hui don't want. WASTED! i wanted to see that weird looking statue that tino has on his phone. While we were walking shu hui asked me to carry her and so i did and tino went to FLIPPED her skirt.. lol~ and they started to play catching.

when we reached cathay it was quite late already so we had to go home.

Below are the pictures taken over the last few days. xD

ShuHui and Me At some CC's Karaoke.

Tino and Me also at the same place. lol!

ShuHui and Me at Cineleisure. (thats the shirt is bought from J8) -.-

Videos______